A Little Encouragement to Myself

Hold on girl… Hold on to it.

I know you are lonely, frustrated, running out of patience…

That day will come, and both of you will finally live together, happily ever after.

There is no such thing as giving up here, this is true love, and you know it, he knows it.

He is always there for you. Even when you are not physically together, he thinks of you all the time, everyday.

Be strong, be patient. You will be okay. Both of you will be okay.

It can only get better, it can only get closer to the day for both of you to unite.

Patience, my dear. Patience is beauty, patience is a virtue.

Being patient is living up to your name.

Be strong, be patient. You can do this. You have him, and he has you.

That day will come.

Published in: on September 16, 2014 at 1:11 PM  Leave a Comment  

Patience and Strength

Seems like it has passed 100 days.

Seems like there will be a few more 100 days.

Seems like it is not just us who are tormented by physical separation. Everyone has a situation, a story, and each is as captivating as the other.

I have always been told that good things come to those who wait. And blessings come to those who pray.

I have waited and I have prayed. But it seems like I will need to do more of them.

I am glad that this is two-way; I am not doing this alone.

Thank you for being there when I need patience and strength.

I have more of the former than the latter, and you vice versa. 

I am sure that is one of the reasons why we are so compatible.

I wish we have a story so compelling that it would melt people’s hearts and reduce people to tears, but we do not. We are just another normal couple, albeit very much in love and very much wanting to be with each other. And without a sob-story-of-the-century, we can only patiently wait for our turn.

All we want is to be together, and start our lives as one. All we want is to live our lives as husband and wife, undivided by the vast ocean that is currently in-between us. Literally.

How much longer do we have to wait…?

Published in: on August 25, 2014 at 11:48 PM  Leave a Comment  

Till the Next Embrace

Separated for 3 months

United for 6 days.

Here comes another 4 months

Sometimes, I do not understand where my courage comes from.

Published in: on August 1, 2014 at 4:31 PM  Leave a Comment  

Lovely Words

 

I carry your heart with me

I carry it in my heart

 

I am never without it

Anywhere I go, you go, my dear

and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling

 

I fear no fate

for you are my fate, my sweet

I want no world

for, beautiful, you are my world

and it is you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing – is you

 

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

here is the root of the root

and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky

of a tree called life

which grows higher than soul can hope

or mind can hide

and this is the wonder that is keeping the stars apart

 

I carry your heart

I carry it in my heart

Published in: on July 22, 2014 at 12:57 AM  Leave a Comment  

Be Strong

It’s ok baby for you to feel

Take as much time as you need to heal

You wonder why you break down and cry

Let your tears go by

Just break down and cry

Published in: on July 20, 2014 at 11:51 PM  Leave a Comment  

Steampunk Heart

20140606-232828.jpg

Published in: on June 6, 2014 at 11:28 PM  Leave a Comment  
Tags: ,

Victorian Fancy

20140606-112420.jpg

Published in: on June 6, 2014 at 11:24 AM  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , ,

Madama Butterfly

20140606-112249.jpg

Published in: on June 6, 2014 at 11:23 AM  Leave a Comment  
Tags:

Tired of Being Strong

People on Facebook are the same. Everyone waits for “Likes” to define them, and no one likes to read about other people’s misery.

Which is why I always put up a strong front. Only show people the happier side of life. Only show people positiveness, the good, strong side of me.

I don’t know where to go when I am weak and miserable… I don’t know who to tell… People don’t like negative people, miserable people. And I want people to like me.

That’s why I am here, hiding by myself. And this is what I have been dying to say:

  • I am miserable
  • I am exhausted
  • I am stressed
  • I am poor
  • I am weak
  • I am scared
  • I am ugly
  • I am vulnerable
  • I am lonely
  • I am crumbling

I hate those words. Negative words. But for once I just want to be negative, I want to feel sorry for myself.

I have always tried to see the beauty in everything, and I mean everything. I have always tried to be positive, be strong, or at least I pretend to be, because deep down I am not. I type encouraging words to myself, on Facebook, because I crave for encouragement and praise.

It is not that I want a gold star for every single thing that I have done, but now is not the time for me to think positively. On this rainy night, I am alone, and I want to say “Poor me”.

Because I am tired of being strong.

Just for tonight, before the blinding sun shines again in the morning, I want to cry and be miserable, and be the weakling that I always am, deep inside.

Why is this so hard…

People always discourage the feeling fear for change. But, it is true, deep down, everyone fears change. We are just too proud to admit it. Inside, we are all cowards. We are all selfish.

I remember that beloved quote, the one by Emerson Roy West that I have adored for so many years…

“Courage is not the absence of fear; true courage is manifest in bravely doing what has to be done in spite of fears or foes or the foolishness of the crowd or the taunts of the group. True courage is doing the right thing in spite of the odds or opposition or apprehension.”

I know that I am showing courage. I know that I am bravely doing what has to be done in spite of my fears. I know that I am doing the right thing in spite of the odds and apprehension.

But I do not enjoy it. It is exhausting.

I feel so tired, but I cannot give up… I have to do it.

Published in: on June 6, 2014 at 12:28 AM  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

Cocktails and Conversations

A million thoughts in the mind.

When we were little, the stories we hear were beautiful.

The princesses were born beautiful, their dresses were beautiful, they lived in beautiful palaces, ran through beautiful pastures, meet beautiful princes, have beautiful weddings, live beautifully, happily, ever after.

Fast-forward twenty years.

Walking in the winter rain, hair disarray in the strong winds, dirty city train carriages, angry people swearing on the streets, trying to look for work, making ends meet, hoping what you know is enough to keep you alive, cigarette butts littered on the floor, the more devastating the news, the better it sells.

Am I stupid to always try to look for beauty in everything?

When you look, what do you see? What to you hope to find?

I hope for a better tomorrow. Cliché as it may sound.

Does that mean that I am a grown up now? Or am I too naive to hope for that?

Published in: on June 4, 2014 at 5:00 PM  Leave a Comment  
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.