It feels weird to read previous posts, and see how much I have done since.
I am happy that I am no longer in that state of uncertainty… I have forgotten what it was about.
Because of him.
For 10 years he has been my best friend
We picked on each other.
I called him annoying.
He called me fat.
I left him spending a night out at a beach by himself.
He helped me get into university.
I helped him get a gift when he tried to woo a girl, and held him when he came back broken and rejected.
For 5 years he has been my soul mate
I confided in him regarding everything: guys, relationship, sex. He did the same.
We like the same cafes. We would order a cuppa, and spend the next 6 hours talking to each other.
We went to the karaoke and belted out every soppy breakup song there was.
We went on short trips to Melbourne.
He tried to stop me from starting a relationship with a jerk, I didn’t listen to him and ended up heartbroken.
21st September 2011 I became his girlfriend
23rd of March 2014 The happiest day of my life
We spent the most amazing and beautiful 5 days in Bali, it was amazing with him. He made the sun brighter, the coconut water yummier. Jokes were funnier when he said them, the skies looked bluer with him. He took me to a 5-hour spa treatment, and it was beautiful. When I got upset with the sweltering heat, he cheered me up. He made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I do not like spending time on an airplane, and AirAsia flights are known to be extremely uncomfortable, but with his shoulders there for me to lean on, I felt completely wonderful and at ease.
Now that I have him, I do not know how to live life without him. We have a beautiful life planned out – migrating to Australia, he works in graphic design while I teach at school. We would buy a house. We would have children, and be together forever.
Sometimes I don’t realise that reality isn’t as smooth-sailing as I thought it would be. A month ago, I had to say goodbye to him to go to Australia and sort-out the partner visa application, while he continues his job in Malaysia. I cried the moment we kissed goodbye, and I didn’t stop until 10 hours later, after I landed and finally got to take a nap. Tears still burn my eyes every moment I thought of him. And I know he is lonely and frustrated that I am not by his side.
We finally lodged the visa application last week, and was told that it could probably take up to a year to process.
I don’t know how to face such a long time without his presence. Everyday I wish that there would be the miraculous little email when I open my inbox, saying that his visa is approved. I think about him every single minute of the day. I don’t know when we will see each other again. I don’t know when we’d be able to hug and kiss each other again, and the thought of that makes me feel extremely bitter and resentful… I look at our lovely wedding photos blue-tacked onto my wall, and I don’t know what to do except to cry.
Skype is nothing. We Skype every night, every chance possible, but… I want you in my arms again. I want to be able to touch you again, to hold your hand, stroll under the sunshine, have a takeaway fish and chips, and laugh our heads off.
I think we are a very strong couple… Under these circumstances… I think we are very strong, because of each other, and for each other.
Boon for Grace – Grace for Boon
I must find a job… I must keep building a foundation for the both of us here while we are apart… I wish you are with me… Food doesn’t taste anymore without you – I just eat to keep me alive. I don’t care about the weather, or the temperature, nothing means anything without you.
One day… one day we will be living together again.